CONFESSION: I peaked...

I just laid my daughter down for "quiet time." She asked me if we could pray. She began thanking God for every little thing that had gone on today, yesterday, and last week. As she was listing all of the events that she was very much grateful for, I opened my eyes to look at her precious face. Her eyes were closed, and her face was priceless. I took in a deep breath and remember 2 things. 1.) I need to pray like that. I need to make sure that I thank God for those little things and never take them for granted. 2.) I remembered how much of a miracle this child really is. I thought back to the point of her coming into this world, and how it almost didn't happen. I also remembered how God literally placed extra protection around her - a HUGE answer to prayer. Life is so short. I get the comments all the time how I need to take in this time that I have with them while they are young. I am trying so hard to do just that, but heaven only knows I need those reminders. Bottom line- I peaked; and I learned something, and took it in.

Trusting

I was spinning my daughter around the other day and had a deep realization: She really trusts me. It's no wonder that God refered to the children as having a pure heart. They trust, believe, without any doubt.

I knelt down on my knees (she was standing on my thighs and holding onto my hands). She leaned back and had a huge thrill of seeing how far back she could go. I wonder what would happen if we would do that with God. Sometimes we don't lean back in fear of the unknown (falling, getting hurt, breaking trust). If we did, I am sure we would enjoy the ride that He planned for us to have.

Try with me. Let go of your fears. Throw caution into the wind, and lean back with me - with no fear of trusting that the person (or in our case God) will ever let go of us. It's our turn to RIDE!

How was your day? - Mine, I seriously should have stayed in bed!

I’m falling apart over here. The morning started off really well….kids playing/fighting, and I was completely tearing apart the coupons and ads (off in a peaceful trance). Then, we went to a field trip with our fellow homeschoolers to the police department canine unit.… We pulled up and Stephen (my youngest) had just closed his eyes. As soon as I opened the door, he woke up and was excited to see the dogs. Throughout that fun event, Rachel was restless, and getting into all kinds of trouble irritating everyone.

Then, on our way home is Kroger – I NEED a few things. So, I think I’ll go in and come out real quick. After all it was 2:30ish and Matt has practice at 5:30, which we have to leave at 5. I go in and (it was really my fault – I gave Rachel the 1-2-3, and spank, but I didn’t w/ the boys) all hell broke loose. Stephen is tired and wanting to be asleep. Rachel is in the basket part poking Stephen through the holes annoying the crap out of him. David and Matt are coming up with several games that involve getting into people’s way, including me, and making a ruckus. So, I am telling them to just hold on to the cart, and to help me. I gave them coupons of a few of the things they could help me look for – thinking they just needed something to do. Well, between me attempting to translate what the coupons were saying, finding the items, and being a constant referee and disciplinarian, I am loosing patience. It’s “boys, will you please stop running around the cart. Come over here and hold on,” “Rachel, if you touch him again you’re going to get a spanking,” “Stephen let go of those spices,” “Boys, please!” (Then, I started into the dramatic – “You are going to see smoke coming out of my ears soon!”)……..

I prayed. I asked the boys to pray. I wound up on my knees in the frozen food isle praying. (I’m not kidding…. ON MY KNEES) Telling God, “I cannot do this!”

Finally, I got the items I needed and went to the dreaded checkout isle. (Sigh) As I was placing the items up on the fast track counter, they were asking if they could “help” me. I at this point was too irritated to be rational. I came back with a “Oh, NOW you want to help me! Not 20 minutes ago when I asked you to do something, NO! You want to “HELP” me now, huh?!” (All the while, Rachel is smacking Stephen like it was some sort of game that she got points for just by hitting him.) I zone out and start franticly scanning items, pretending like the children behind me were in fact NOT calling out to me.

Then, I hear this familiar voice say, “Yeah, I think that IS Jen.” After I heard it, I knew I could either have to pretend like I didn’t hear them and not have to face the fact that I DON”T have it all under control, or look up and face the music. I look up and catch the eyes of Rex and Bailey (some friends of ours from church.) They smile and say, “Hi!” I have absolutely no words. I start shaking my head as if I’m answering a question with the answer of “no.” I broke out in tears. Yep! Right there in the checkout isle. Balled……. Like a baby! They quickly came over and consoled me (and let's not foregt to give God some props here) and answer my prayers. Bailey picked up Stephen and started entertaining the little ones. Rex attempted to figure out what in the world was going on. He grabbed bags as if he was coming home with me. (In the middle of THIS, the self check out computer asked me to check in with the attendant b/c it wishes to card me for the patches. Luckily, the attendant was watching me melt into oblivion and said, “I got it, Hon.”) I turned around saying, “Thank you!” (That’s all I could muster up.) Rex said, “One of those days?” I tried not to scream it, but answered with a yes.

We get into the van. Go home. Stephen is asleep – I transfer him to his bed and bring the rest of the crew in. Then, I smell something burning. …………..the BBQ chicken (which I threw together this morning so NOT to have to think about dinner for tonight) is now burning and smoked. I turn the crock-pot off and start to laugh, and think to myself “REALLY? I mean SERIOUSLY!?” I automatically went to my room to keep the kiddos quiet and give myself a vacation on this email, and unfortunately spill to you.

How is your day?

I also forgot to mention – at the beginning of this day, Rachel is very quiet and I asked her if she wanted to go outside. (B/c everyone else is out there playing.) She says, “It’s messy.” I kept on looking at the ads in the paper pretending like I didn’t hear her. Finally, I asked, “What’s messy?” She came to me (as usual when she says this) with her hands out and palms up – showing me the “messy.” It was the Elidel for Stephen; the $30 small tube of cream that we just bought for Stephen to clear his eczema. Not only did she have it all over her hands, but she drew a nice painting with it on the wall behind the couch. (Grrrrr!) I immediately took her outside, called over Stephen, and began to rub the remaining expensive cream from her hands to his legs. (I’m sure the neighbors thought we were doing some sort of weird homeschooling ritual.)

The day is getting better, though. We are rebels. We skipped the football practice, got some McDonalds, and some adult beverages. I’m feeling better now. (My hubby always seems to save the day!)

Goodbyes

Some friends of ours are moving here lately. Goodbyes are so hard. I think a piece of you leaves when they do. You have invested some of your heart and soul into that relationship.

It is going to be SO nice when we are in heaven. There are no goodbyes in heaven. Plus, hopefully, those that you had to say goodbye to here on earth for whatever reason, you will see again in heaven.

If you think about it, God had to say goodbye partly to Jesus in order for him to come down here on this earth. He also had to watch him as he went through pain and suffering. Jesus is the ulitimate proof that we need to reassure us that we are never alone, and that God loves us so very much. His intention when creating humans in the beginning was to never be separated as we are today. He created us to live with him. We broke that intended cycle. We are going to feel so complete in heaven, but until then....

.........we are to put up with the goodbyes here on earth.

Cooking Help

My children are so helpful! My oldest, David is cutting carrots, Matthew is peeling the carrots, Rachel is shucking the corn, and Stephen is learning from the sidelines. I am one blessed Momma!

 

Encouragement during miscarriage(s)

Real quick,

       I thought I'd share some encouragement and venting about miscarriages. I have had four miscarriages in my past back to back. It was very rough! The websites below are different devotions that I have written on the website http://www.encouragementcafe.com/. The website is geared mostly toward women, but is very uplifting on several different subjects. You should check it out.

Monday: http://www.encouragementcafe.com/2011/05/16/finding-peace-in-the-storm/

Tuesday: http://www.encouragementcafe.com/2011/05/17/an-anchor-in-the-storm/

Wednesday: http://www.encouragementcafe.com/2011/05/18/there-is-peace-in-his-presence/

Thursday: http://www.encouragementcafe.com/2011/05/19/stepping-out-in-faith/

Friday: http://www.encouragementcafe.com/2011/05/20/deliverance-from-a-downpour/

Getting Rid of the Old

Today the kids and I went through ALL of our toys. We pulled them all out of the rooms, garage, under the beds, stuffed animals that were already tucked into the beds...... EVERYTHING! They were strewed out all over my living room floor. We could barley walk. We found toys that we hadn't seen in years. The kids were so excited to get their hands on them. Then, we began to organize them all. As we sorted, I informed them that we were not keeping them all. They were surprisingly VERY okay with that. I studied what each kid was holding, or excited about and took a mental note that we would keep those. In the end, we had 2 whole totes full of just toys to give away. When we got to the stuffed animals, I thought we would keep them all until I told them of the plan.

"If you could pick just three stuffed animals, which ones would they be?" They all frantically were grabbing for about eight each. Then, carefully they chose wisely and told of the reasons for their choices. I told them to put those in their beds and choose three more. Their eyes lit up! I told them that we could keep three of them in the garage and switch out every now and then. Knowing this, they took a sigh of relief especially my oldest, who was desparately wanting to keep out four.

Have you ever gone and cleaned house? You realize that there is stuff that you haven't seen in years, and surprisingly enough you never missed. How much are we holding on to that may benefit someone else?

Just a thought.

Cutest Comments

Okay, so I woke up this morning to a son ready to go and chow down in the kitchen, but before we venture in there he says, "Mom, your face looks soggy. I mean it's like your nose is floating on your soggy face."

Of course it does! It's 6:30 in the morning! Your face is not apparently "perky" and less soggy until around 9am.

The explaination, of course, was also not needed. It would have been enough to stop there at soggy, but NO, we have to keep going. My nose is floating out in the void of my soggy face! Should I throw a life saver to my poor nose? Where do you go from there? No one taught me how to handle that kind of a question in MOM School.

I think I'm going to check into his eye sight. I'm 30, and I thought "soggy" came later. Needless to say, I got up fed them, and urgently got on my workout clothes for Jazzercise tirelessly attempting to hold on to my youth...... or at least my perky nose?