I’m falling apart over here. The morning started off really well….kids playing/fighting, and I was completely tearing apart the coupons and ads (off in a peaceful trance). Then, we went to a field trip with our fellow homeschoolers to the police department canine unit.… We pulled up and Stephen (my youngest) had just closed his eyes. As soon as I opened the door, he woke up and was excited to see the dogs. Throughout that fun event, Rachel was restless, and getting into all kinds of trouble irritating everyone.
Then, on our way home is Kroger – I NEED a few things. So, I think I’ll go in and come out real quick. After all it was 2:30ish and Matt has practice at 5:30, which we have to leave at 5. I go in and (it was really my fault – I gave Rachel the 1-2-3, and spank, but I didn’t w/ the boys) all hell broke loose. Stephen is tired and wanting to be asleep. Rachel is in the basket part poking Stephen through the holes annoying the crap out of him. David and Matt are coming up with several games that involve getting into people’s way, including me, and making a ruckus. So, I am telling them to just hold on to the cart, and to help me. I gave them coupons of a few of the things they could help me look for – thinking they just needed something to do. Well, between me attempting to translate what the coupons were saying, finding the items, and being a constant referee and disciplinarian, I am loosing patience. It’s “boys, will you please stop running around the cart. Come over here and hold on,” “Rachel, if you touch him again you’re going to get a spanking,” “Stephen let go of those spices,” “Boys, please!” (Then, I started into the dramatic – “You are going to see smoke coming out of my ears soon!”)……..
I prayed. I asked the boys to pray. I wound up on my knees in the frozen food isle praying. (I’m not kidding…. ON MY KNEES) Telling God, “I cannot do this!”
Finally, I got the items I needed and went to the dreaded checkout isle. (Sigh) As I was placing the items up on the fast track counter, they were asking if they could “help” me. I at this point was too irritated to be rational. I came back with a “Oh, NOW you want to help me! Not 20 minutes ago when I asked you to do something, NO! You want to “HELP” me now, huh?!” (All the while, Rachel is smacking Stephen like it was some sort of game that she got points for just by hitting him.) I zone out and start franticly scanning items, pretending like the children behind me were in fact NOT calling out to me.
Then, I hear this familiar voice say, “Yeah, I think that IS Jen.” After I heard it, I knew I could either have to pretend like I didn’t hear them and not have to face the fact that I DON”T have it all under control, or look up and face the music. I look up and catch the eyes of Rex and Bailey (some friends of ours from church.) They smile and say, “Hi!” I have absolutely no words. I start shaking my head as if I’m answering a question with the answer of “no.” I broke out in tears. Yep! Right there in the checkout isle. Balled……. Like a baby! They quickly came over and consoled me (and let's not foregt to give God some props here) and answer my prayers. Bailey picked up Stephen and started entertaining the little ones. Rex attempted to figure out what in the world was going on. He grabbed bags as if he was coming home with me. (In the middle of THIS, the self check out computer asked me to check in with the attendant b/c it wishes to card me for the patches. Luckily, the attendant was watching me melt into oblivion and said, “I got it, Hon.”) I turned around saying, “Thank you!” (That’s all I could muster up.) Rex said, “One of those days?” I tried not to scream it, but answered with a yes.
We get into the van. Go home. Stephen is asleep – I transfer him to his bed and bring the rest of the crew in. Then, I smell something burning. …………..the BBQ chicken (which I threw together this morning so NOT to have to think about dinner for tonight) is now burning and smoked. I turn the crock-pot off and start to laugh, and think to myself “REALLY? I mean SERIOUSLY!?” I automatically went to my room to keep the kiddos quiet and give myself a vacation on this email, and unfortunately spill to you.
How is your day?
I also forgot to mention – at the beginning of this day, Rachel is very quiet and I asked her if she wanted to go outside. (B/c everyone else is out there playing.) She says, “It’s messy.” I kept on looking at the ads in the paper pretending like I didn’t hear her. Finally, I asked, “What’s messy?” She came to me (as usual when she says this) with her hands out and palms up – showing me the “messy.” It was the Elidel for Stephen; the $30 small tube of cream that we just bought for Stephen to clear his eczema. Not only did she have it all over her hands, but she drew a nice painting with it on the wall behind the couch. (Grrrrr!) I immediately took her outside, called over Stephen, and began to rub the remaining expensive cream from her hands to his legs. (I’m sure the neighbors thought we were doing some sort of weird homeschooling ritual.)
The day is getting better, though. We are rebels. We skipped the football practice, got some McDonalds, and some adult beverages. I’m feeling better now. (My hubby always seems to save the day!)
